"Our phrasebooks give you a comprehensive mix of practical and social words."

I got a Mandarin phrasebook yesterday (mostly useful for its fairly exhaustive listing of potential menu items). It's a little bit cracked out, though - it lists all the standard phrases like "when is the next train to Shanghai?" and "do you take travelers' checks?" but some of the stuff in it seems...odd.
Examples:
rat-infested (laoshu wo)
My stomach is very happy. (Chide zhen bao.)
How can I explain this to my parents? (Wo zenme gen fumu jiaodai?) [The really weird part is that this is under the "hairdressing" section.]
My hobby is drinking. (Wo aihao shi hejiu.)
What should be done about irrigation? (Nongye shuili yinggai zenme chuli?)
Sorry, I can't dance. (Bu haoyisi, wo bu hui tiaowu.) [I firmly believe this phrase should never be used unless the speaker is completely paralyzed.]
I'm high. (Qifei le.) [People have been put to death for less in China, so it seems a little dumb to have an admission of capital crimes in the phrasebook.]
You look like a cousin of mine. (Ni zhangde xiang wo de biao mei.) [This, inexplicably, was under the "pickup lines" section, which presents two problems: firstly, the book is presumably being used by clueless white people, so it strikes me as a bit odd that a Chinese person would remind one of a blood relative in any meaningful way. Secondly, if someone tried to come onto me by saying that I resembled someone they were related to, I'd be a little weirded out. Perhaps this was intended for inclusion in the "West Virginia" phrasebook and found its way here through an editing error.]
Don't worry, I'll do it myself. (Meishi, wo ziji lai.) [This was under the "romance" section. Ouch.]
Will you live with me? (Ni neng tong wo yiqi zhuxialai ma?) [If you need a phrasebook to ask someone to move in with you, the relationship is doomed.]
football (ganlanqiu) [This term is for American football and literally means "olive-ball" because of the ball's shape. For some reason I think this is at least as cute as the dickens and possibly cuter.]
"family happiness seafood spectacular" (quanjiafu)
panda meat (xiongmao rou) [ D: D: D: ]
You're charged with assault. (Ni beizhi fan le renshen qinfan.)
My dentures are broken. (Wo de jiaya huai le.)