I just live here.

My friends have started leaving town (Heavenston?) one by one. It hasn't really sunk in that I won't see these people for at least seven months. Sometimes longer - one girl is going abroad for the whole year. It's really upsetting. There are things about this school that make me want to snap people's necks (foremost among them at the moment is the fact that I can't pack until early Tuesday morning because my room is literally too small to hold the boxes) but they are vastly, completely outweighed by the home I've found here. Even during senior year of high school, after I'd gotten in here and I felt like everything was going right for me, I never felt this comfortable in a place. The things I do here - studying at Amby (Amby is the new Libes) until my computer battery runs out or they close, going to the Fems exec meetings and spending half our time trashing whatever the College Republicans are doing this week, gently ribbing my ex-roommate about her distaste for anything that isn't cheese pizza or peanut butter-banana sandwiches - have settled into my core and I can't stand the thought of not having an Ambrosia to go to, or knowing that the Fems are planning things and doing stuff and I'll be halfway across the world, limited by an occasional internet connection and Skype, if I'm even smart enough to set it up (doubtful). Miller will probably still love cheese 'za when I get back, though. She may never change.
I am really looking forward to this, but I'd like to bring everyone I love with me. When I was a sophomore in high school I toured France for a week with some friends, and it was perfect because I got to conveniently box the camaraderie up and take it with me. We had the best time and for about a month pretty much the only words out of our mouths were insipid inside jokes that had been spawned on a bus somewhere between Paris and Normandy, or wherever. Oddly enough, I'm not that close with any of those people anymore, but I feel like my collegiate friends are different - they're so smart, and cool, and funny (not that the France brigade wasn't), and the best among them know me better than I do. Hopefully nobody involved will change beyond recognition between now and January; I feel like my time at this school is so short and so precious that I don't have the luxury of taking a little while to reacquaint myself with everyone.
A couple nights ago Arianne (bless her little New Jersey heart) had the last of the year's semimonthly Dance Ragers, and although it was arguably the best one despite the inclusion of unwarranted clustering freshmen, I felt really off the whole time. More than anything, I'm most saddened by the knowledge that I won't be able to lose my voice screaming the lyrics to "Take Me Home Tonight" at 3 AM until next January. It's a little weird that the thing that makes me feel most happy and free is something I do pretty routinely, which probably means that I need to get out of my little rut over here.
Also: I remember saying several times as a frosh that Chinese grammar was "really easy". STUPID STUPID STUPID.

我的朋友们开离. 我还不能知道-我长期不看这人们. 一个姑娘一年路游和学习. 我很怅. 我挺不爱有点儿这儿的特色 (因为我的宿舍是太小，我不能包扎），可是现在这儿时我家，是很多重要。 连第四年高中的时候，西北大学接受我以后的时候，那时间美有现在那么舒服。这儿的玩儿：去Amby 学习（Amby是现在的Libes)，集会跟女权扩张论为口语College Republicans,开玩笑一个朋友因为她不喜欢一点儿有意思的菜，沉没在我里。 我怼算在中国我要没有Ambrosia去，知道女权扩张论是太完，还我要只有中国的网络（就是还可以。。。），可能有Skype（如果我能知道怎么用）。不过我的朋友还要爱没有意思的菜。
我真兴奋，可是我想带朋友们跟我。 有十五岁的时候，我跟朋友们去过法国路行，是好级了- 我能路游，带友谊。 差不多一月后来，我们只会说笨的笑林，笑林是在公共汽车的出来。那个人们不是我的朋友，可是大学的朋友不一样； 他们视太聪明，友好，还我最好的朋友比我认识我得好。我从现在到后年一月不要他们变化。我的事件住这儿太小；恐怕没有时候再认识他们。
上星期Arianne会一个聚会，虽然是好级了，但是我觉得不太好，是真悲伤。从现在到一月，我不会唱跟Eddie Money三点钟早的时候. 是一点儿好奇,活动给我觉得很好也是真一般.